The Ballad Of D. Claude

The first song to be entirely spoiled. Revealed on Edmund McMillen's blog.

Lyrics
I’m a cast-out cat out on the prowl

Since the day they put me out

I got whiskers’ like spaghetti, fur just like a yeti

Teeth like tile grout

But I ain’t bitter bout the crumbs of litter hangin down from my belly

Keepin me nice and smelly

Like day old tuna by the light of la luna that you shoulda eaten sooner but I got here first

‘Cause I’m cool as piss in a pool of bliss

All the cats on the street are aware of this

Because I live on my own

The Dogs leave me alone

And the streets are my home

where I'm so well known

My face aint pretty, it’s kinda loafy

and my butt ain’t gonna win a cat ass trophy

Got a tail like kumquat, a nose to match

But I always seem to find myself a post to scratch

See this mean ol' city ain’t no place for a kitty

That needs mommy to bring 'em their milk

Said, hey diddle diddle, you’ll be strings on a fiddle

If you ain’t of the proper ilk.

See now I’m cool as pee in a puddle of glee

And it all came to me so naturally

From living on my own

The dogs leave me alone

The streets are my home

Where I’m so well known

All you cats in that lab are schizophrenics

Don’t get me mixed up in your Mew-Genics!

You don’t need to be the Fonz to know that ain’t cool

Yeah you are freakin’ me-owt

You come runnin’ round here like some Puss 'N Boots

You don’t know pain til you’ve been D. Claude!